GOLD, GOLD, GOLD

Almost everyone dreams of finding gold, and then, of course, watching his or her sluice box fill with nuggets worth millions. That’s actually happening nowadays with gold priced at almost $1,800 an ounce. For example, the Fort Knox Gold Mine northeast of Fairbanks, Alaska, is producing almost 400,000 ounces a year, so just do the math. Its profits are in the billions, and it will only get better because our country is bankrupt, along with a good many other nations. Gold will do nothing but go up.

I’ve had an Alaska mining lease for many years, which is kept current by performing yearly work on the claim and/or by paying annual fees of about $200. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, which presents big problems when I want to access the place. Pretty much everything has to be sling-loaded with a helicopter. I’m facing huge obstacles now that I’ve made my mind up to work it this summer, not the least of which is the state requires the completion of a notebook-sized application that must be approved by a dozen different federal and state agencies. If you ever wonder why the U.S. is going tits up and there aren’t any jobs, I’ve just given you a big clue.

My initial plan is to sling load a Montana 2434 (a lawn tractor on steroids), along with its backhoe and front-end loader, to the gold claim this summer. That will be followed by tons of other equipment necessary for starting up a small mine. I hope to leave Arizona in a couple weeks with the first load of stuff I need in a toyhauler towed by a Dodge pickup. Needless to say, I’ve been busy buying things to make the trip, and thank God for Craigslist.

I’ll try blogging as often as I can to update everyone on how things are going. I’ve faced big challenges before, but this one might be the biggest yet. Wish me luck.

DEADLY FUN

An Arizona friend and his wife took an Alaskan vacation not long ago. Yes, in the dead of winter. They skied down steep slopes at the Alyeska Resort http://www.alyeskaresort.com/ in the finest deep powder in anyone’s memory, cross-country skied in an untouched wilderness, and learned that Alaska, indeed, is a true winter wonderland. Anchorage was interesting as well, and, to their delight, there were great restaurants. Oh, and don’t let me forget to mention the shopping wasn’t bad either, since the city’s jewelry shops sell the best gold nugget bracelets and watchbands in the world.

My friend truly loves adventure, and he likes survival challenges as well, even if it sometimes means getting in over his head. Snowmobiles, of course, were on his short list of fun things to do while he was in the Far North. Who wouldn't want to race over the snow at rocket speed?

One day, he and his wife went riding in Turnagain Pass, a steep pathway first used by Native Alaskans to access the Kenai Peninsula. Later on, prospectors used it to find gold at Hope and Sunrise in the 1890s, where people still work placer mines. Most locals know better than fool around in snow up to your neck. What seems like lots of fun when you’re zooming around on a snowmobile can suddenly turn into the biggest mistake of your life.

My friend went off a snow bank into a frozen creek in the blink of an eye. Going fast, everything is fuzzy white—the last thing in the world you would expect is a five-foot drop-off. He ended up wet to the bone, which means freezing to death unless you warm up in a hurry. Thankfully, he was with an experienced guide and other people, so he got rescued in time, but he learned a lesson. “Boy, one second you’re having a blast,’ he said, “and the next you’re dead.” I heartedly agreed with him, then added the Last Frontier never takes any prisoners.

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING

Alaska is getting hammered this winter with thick sea ice and never-ending snowstorms. Nome, which sits on the Bering Sea, is facing fuel shortages if a Russian tanker doesn’t reach town soon, and Cordova, a fishing town that sits on Prince William Sound, is so buried in snow the National Guard has been sent in to help people who can’t even get out of their doors. Meanwhile, the Obama Administration, along with the Anchorage Daily News, keeps preaching global warming. Oh, yes, and I forgot to tell you that Lonnie Dupree, a well-known adventurer and eco freak, was forced to abandon his second attempt to climb Denali in the wintertime because of 100-mile-an-hour winds and 100-below-zero temperatures at 16,000 feet, which is way short of the peak. Some people never learn, or better said, it’s clear that lots of people never learn.

Nome needing to be rescued by Russia isn’t setting well with most Alaskans, precisely because it shows how badly the Obama Administration, along with the past Bush Administration, has let this nation sink into oblivion. Things have gotten so bad we can’t even function without Chinese loan sharking and Russians riding to our rescue. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not a true American if you aren’t ashamed and embarrassed by what’s been done to us by the fat cats and unrepentant sissies who run Washington D.C. A pox on both of our political parties, and it’s time for real leaders to step forward and tell the big spenders and professional crybabies to sit down and shut up. The country is at stake.

The Nome fuel crisis shows how low we’ve sunk. We have one Arctic icebreaker while the Russian have 25, Finland and Sweden have seven each, and Canada has six. Canada, Denmark, and Russia are busily making their claims to the Arctic Ocean, and we can't even patrol our share of it above Alaska.

The laughter you hear isn’t because those three countries are throwing a block party, it’s because we’ve ceded everything to them with nothing but a whimper. The only problem they have is China holds liens on everything, which will need to be paid.

MAN-KILLER MOOSE

It’s not often in America that you must worry about being attacked by wildlife in your own backyard, but Anchorage is an exception. The city is loaded with moose, particularly in the wintertime, and if you’re stupid enough to step outside your home without looking around first, it could be curtains for you. They set up housekeeping in the suburbs long ago and aren’t about ready to leave, since urban living suits them just fine. Where else can you find tasty ornamental bushes and trees to eat and no wolf packs to worry about?

Years ago, a woman heard a dog barking behind the house where she was staying and stepped out to see what was wrong. A moose stomped her to death. The same thing happened to a college professor who bumped into one on campus. Folks think they look clumsy and slow, but they’re anything but. They are cat-quick and can kick with all four feet at once, killing their victims with lightning blows.

Almost a dozen Anchorage residents are injured each year by moose, mostly because of carelessness or their dogs decided to chase one and the moose would have none of it. To the owner’s horror, he or she see his or her dog running back for protection from a pissed off monster weighing 1,000 pounds. Not a healthy situation under any circumstance.

Once I got a call from a fellow about his floatplane being damaged on Lake Hood, the world’s largest seaplane base that’s an integral part of the Anchorage International Airport. I left my office only to learn a rutting bull moose had vented its frustration on a half dozen airplanes tied down around the lake. The damage was awesome—twisted tail assemblies, bashed in sheet metal, and ripped fuselage fabric. Several airplane owners were facing big repair bills.

Stay away from Alaska’s largest ungulate if you know what’s good for you.

ESKIMO BLANKET TOSS

Alaskan winters are long and cold, although they differ greatly depending on where you live in the state. For example, Ketchikan’s winter is like Seattle’s, Anchorage is warmer than Northern Minnesota, Fairbanks sits forever at 20 below, and Barrow is black for months. It all has to do with the Last Frontier being so big that different climates exist.

Contrary to popular misconceptions, people don’t live in igloos and they stay
busy with everyday life just like in the Lower-48 states. Getting to work on time, sending the kids off to school, housework, and looking forward to the weekends are the same as you would find in Minnesota or Montana. Anchorage in particular, since it holds half of the state’s population, always has something interesting going on, with year-round cultural events rivaling any big city’s fun things to do. Ballroom dancing, celebrity appearances, concerts, museums—it’s easy to knock yourself out, and that’s not to mention the world-class skiing, snowmobiling, and endless fishing and hunting opportunities.

About the time you get a little tired of the cold and snow, the Fur Rondy, the 2,000-mile Iron Dog snowmobile race, and the Iditarod Sled Dog Race begin. All three are international events with folks coming from all over to join the fun, if not to take a shot at winning the prize money. First place, new pickup trucks, and celebrity endorsements hang in the balance.

Wintertime contests that have always amazed me, and the photograph above shows what I mean, are the ice sculptures that artists carve. Many are truly wonderful, and it’s easy to spend an entire afternoon walking from one to another and guessing how they were built.

Never let anyone tell you that Alaskans suffer from cabin fever in the wintertime, because there’s hardly time to stay home.

WHAT IS IT?

A bronze object was found in August on Cape Espenberg, which is near Kotzebue, Alaska, a coastal town along the Chukchi Sea. This part of the High Arctic has been home to the Inupiat Eskimos for eons, and their subsistence culture is still busy with berry picking, fishing, and hunting. Old ivory, stone, and wooden artifacts are commonplace and easy to find in the ancient earthen homes they left behind.

Early Native Alaskans didn’t melt metal and pour molded castings, so the recent discovery of this artifact in a 1000-year-old mizzen was shocking, especially since the leather on its one end dated 1,400 years back. Archaeologists are left scratching their heads, without any good explanation for what they found. Maybe it came from China, they think.

Recently, a Chinese coin minted between 1667 and 1671 was found along the Yukon River 150 miles northwest of Whitehorse. Old Chinese coins have been regularly found along Alaska’s southeastern seacoast, but to find one so far inland blows everyone’s mind. Added to this great mystery is a Chinese coin from the early 1400s was found at Beaver Creek, the border point between Alaska and Canada. A pig bone was also found, except there weren’t any pigs in the North until after the 1898 Gold Rush. This has thrown archaeologists for a loop as well.

I’ve always believed the Chinese discovered Alaska long before any Europeans did, and now there’s proof. It’s fact the ancient Chinese knew about Siberia, so it stands to reason they would have been told about another land just across the Bering Strait, which is only 53 miles wide. I think they started exploring and trading in Alaska long ago. Would-be experts will call me crazy, but I have more proof than they do. How in hell else did these artifacts get to the Far North?

THE INCOMPARABLE BUSH PILOT

One afternoon, I saw Bob Curtis, who had started bush flying in Alaska after World War II, loading his Aeronca Sedan floatplane at my dock on Lake Hood, which is an integral part of the Anchorage International Airport. He was getting ready to fly out to Tikchik Narrows Lodge, a premier wilderness fishing retreat that he and his wife, Gayle, had opened in 1969. They were expecting their first summertime guests and Bob was filling the back of the plane with grocery boxes of every kind. Rhoda, the gal who ran their gourmet kitchen, was standing nearby, along with Bob’s stinking, good-for-nothing, Chesapeake dog named Chief. I left my office to say good-bye, since Bob and I were good friends and I wouldn’t see him again until fall.

Before I go on, I must explain that Bob, who’s no longer alive, was one of Alaska’s legendary characters. He was the epitome of the hard-drinking, fun-loving pioneers who had opened the state to big game hunting and world-class fishing. When he wasn’t working, he was raising hell, and few have cut a wider swathe in the Last Frontier.

He filled the Sedan almost to its back headliner, leaving only a foot or so. I was beginning to wonder . . . then to my amazement, he grabbed Chief with his left arm circling the dog's neck and his right arm beneath the dog's belly and out between the legs with his hand clenched around the poor dog’s testicles. In one swift motion, he stepped onto the pilot-side pontoon, squeezed Chief’s family jewels, and torpedoed him into the cramped space above all the boxes. “Yip, yip, yip,” the dog cried.

In the next instance, he turned to Rhoda and asked, “You want some help getting in?”

Rhoda shot him a look that could kill, which flew right past Bob because he was that kind of guy. After a moment, she said, “Don’t you dare touch me.”

I walked back to my office, laughing and shaking my head. I’d seen it all.